I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
