is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
