Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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