is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
