Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize