I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize