Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize