this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
