Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
