I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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