her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize