Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
