if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Text me some of your sweat
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
