need another drink. this is the easiest way
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
