I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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