well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
