I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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