You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
This beer is not sobering me up at all
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
