I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
