when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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