I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
