when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
