Well apparently he's into motor boating.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
