I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
...so i touched it.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize
