Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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