The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Well I just put wine in my tea
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
