is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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