That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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