Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
