I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
