last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
