Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
