My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
