the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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