it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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