If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
