Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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