(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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