If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
