The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
