so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
