It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I have already put on my inside pants.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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