Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
