i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
