i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
