1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
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