Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
