Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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