she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
