I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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