u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize