good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
where does the pee come out of this thing
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
this is an emotional support booty call
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
