If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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