your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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