i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
