I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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