I love black thongs
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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