i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
