I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
