Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
