After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
