his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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